Inspire, influence, motivate and command respect with style and clarity
Do you want better communication skills? Do you have difficulty getting your point across or getting people to listen to you when you are talking, or to understand your point of view? Or are you good at conversation, a good communicator, but you want to develop your skills even further? Ether way, to be a better communicator, there is a wealth of information, learning and skill that I can share with you.
While some people try to get what they want by manipulating, ordering or bullying others, we know that this is unnecessary. These people simply do not know how to communicate clearly, to make people feel good or to make them feel enthusiastic about helping them.
Communication is far more than speaking skills. It is every bit as much about listening to the other person, understanding the overall situation and even being able to see things from their point of view, even if you do not agree with them. I have specific and very effective ways for you to be able to do this much more clearly and accurately than usual.
How it works
We need to understand how communication really works.
Firstly it is a two way thing.
You obviously have to listen to the other person as well as talk. I can teach you some very specific listening skills as well as some surprisingly effective ways of helping you to really get a sense of where the other person is coming from.
Also as one of my teachers put it “You have not communicated properly until you have had evidence back from them that they understood you as you intended.” It is no good just ‘talking to’ someone, or ‘throwing’ your message at them and assuming they understood it: there are far too many opportunities for misunderstanding. I can teach you how to recognise when your message has got across, whether they agree with it or not, and how to keep fine tuning your message if it did not get across until you can get through to them.
And just because someone understands you as you intended, that does not mean they have to agree with you. They may just be being stubborn or they may have a different yet perfectly valid point of view. By communicating effectively, you at least both understand where each other stands and can work towards a ‘Win-Win’ situation from there.
Secondly, language has a hypnotic quality. So many of us have thrown away opportunities by unwittingly saying the wrong thing and influencing the other person in a way we had not expected. I can teach you the powerful distinctions and language patterns that the leading hypnotists use, both in hypnosis and in everyday life. Not only will you recognise when someone is using manipulative language patterns on you and be able to shrug them off, you will be able to say what you want in the right way. This way you will be able to influence people for good and to help them get the message powerfully and accurately.
When you know how to say the right things in the right way, you not only get much more of what you want, you create far better understanding. You can sometimes even help people to automatically unravel their own problems with you and make them feel good about helping you.
Body language and voice tone
Thirdly, there is a lot more to communication than just what you say. Your body language, facial expression and your tone of voice often count for far more than the actual words. Just imagine someone saying “I love you” in an angry hateful voice, and you will understand what I mean.
I can teach you how to have the physical presence that helps people to feel comfortable around you, while you still command respect.
I can also teach you how to be in control of your voice tone, both inside your head and as you speak, so that you can bathe your listeners with relaxing resonances or stimulate and inspire them with confidence.
There is a completely different dynamic to public speaking than to a one to one or group conversation.
For a start, you have something specific to say, so it seems far less two way. The real skills, other than good preparation, are your presence and style of delivery, but most of all, being able to read and adapt to your audience.
If you are speaking to inspire, you need good timing, good responses to your audience and the ability to ad-lib when necessary. You have to be alive and in tune with your audience.
If you are teaching or presenting concepts or projects, you need to be able to read when people are understanding and following you. You need to be able to read peoples faces for when they have lost the track or worse still, lost interest and be willing to loop back occasionally to keep people up to speed. A strong presence is as important here as it is in an inspirational speech, as is genuine enthusiasm, and a genuine sense of humour and fun also help a lot.
We all have to negotiate from time to time, and whether it is an important part of your job or it is just the occasional personal situation we still want to get the very best out of it.
The main skills of negotiation are to know clearly what you want and what is not acceptable to you, have a good idea of what the other person wants and to find a good balance between them where you are both satisfied. If you cannot agree to a mutually satisfying outcome, you need to be willing and able to walk away from whatever you hoped to get out of it.
For this, you need the very best in clarity, perception and understanding. You need to recognise if the other person is using unfair tactics on you and you need to use the most effective language patterns to fairly bring them to the best mutually beneficial agreement.
You not only need a true ‘Win-Win’ situation, but before agreeing to anything, you need to be able to trust your intuition that you are going to be able to look back on your decision from the future and feel good about it. If not, walk away.
What I can teach
In communication I can teach
- Being able to understand, predict, communicate with, influence and gain the help cooperation and support and even love of other people.
- Specific listening techniques.
- The subtle secrets of rapport.
- Respectful assertiveness and how to take over the lead.
- How to get people’s attention.
- Handling difficult people.
- Why it is so important to be willing to be unreasonable.
- How to detach and avoid taking things personally.
- How to see things from the other person’s point of view
and know how to put your own point of view across more effectively.
- Seeing and setting up the best possible ‘Win-Win’ situation
and the importance of ‘Win-Win or No Deal!’
- The true secrets of posture and physical presence.
- How to make people feel good
and how to inspire and motivate them.
- Voice tone to relax and inspire.
- The specific skills of public speaking.
- Advanced negotiating skills.
- Simple yet surprisingly effective language patterns.
- Communication skills training that exceeds most others.
Most of my work is done individually in a therapeutic or coaching context. However, I can deliver tailored training for companies and organisations.
If you feel this is the kind of thing you want or need, then call me to find out what we can do.