Are you quiet, shy, retiring, unconfident or unassertive? Or could you just do with a good boost to become more assertive, certain, decisive, confident, forthright, imposing, strong willed, self assured, and to command respect? The right kind of assertiveness training will help you with all of these.
Do you sometimes fail to stand up for yourself and let others call the tune or browbeat you? Are you missing out in your prospects at work, or are you being overridden by your partner, family, neighbours or other people? Or do you simply need some good strategies for how to get what you want in a way that other people can feel good about helping you?
Whichever situation you are in, I can help you to get the best out of other people in a clear, forthright, decisive, yet respectful way.
Many assertiveness courses in the past have taught people how to be a bit too brash, agressive, demanding, pushy and insistent, too dogmatic, domineering, overbearing and sometimes even obnoxious. It is true that many people need to be more firm, commanding and emphatic and to know how to stand up for themselves, but it is really about getting people to either feel good about you and to want to cooperate or at least to respect you.
At the end of the day, the idea is to set up true ‘Win-Win’ situations, but it has to be ‘Win-Win’ or ‘No deal’, ‘Win-Win’ or walk away from what seemed to be being offered or at the worst, if you cannot walk away easily or soon (Family, job or partner) then it is ‘Win-Win’ or damage limitation.
In order to do this, we need to be able to step back from our own emotions from time to time and see things more objectively. We also need to be willing and able to more accurately, see things from other people’s points of view. This way we will have far more understanding and compassion for them and we will be far more accurately able to predict how they respond to what we might have been thinking of saying or doing. This helps us to be in control of ourselves and the situation, without being ‘controlling’.
True assertiveness also comes with confidence, decisiveness, self esteem and knowing that when we tell others about our wants and needs in a respectful way, they are more likely to actually want help us to fulfil them. It also means being clear about our standards and being willing to walk away from those who do not wish to respect them. This can be done a lot more easily when you are confident that there are enough people out there that will and do respect your standards and will treat you with the same level of respect that you give to them.
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And if you feel I can offer you what you need in order for people to respect you more and for you to get far more of what you want, then feel free to call me.